Monday, January 30, 2006

Prankster's Paradise



[Cue music]:

Dum Dum Dum Dum DAAAAAH Dah
Dah Dah
Dum Dum Dum Dum DAAAAAH Dah




"As I walk the Quaggy valley up toward Lambeth
I take a look at my knife, and the blade got nothin' left.



"I been gashin' and slashin' tires so long,
And I've only got one more stink bomb."

Oh, Nuevo Cruz (as Old Ken likes to call New Cross) ... you do it to me every time. Would you be surprised to learn that inside this store—a veritable prankster's paradise if there ever was one—we find signs instructing customers not to threaten the staff? Warnings, I would hasten to note, posted directly next to advertisements for spray paint. Whee!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Silly Art!



Perhaps you haven't been outside lately. Perhaps you don't like socializing with other people. Perhaps you simply can't be bothered to look out the window. Well, if any of these cases apply to you—wait, check that, if all these cases apply to you—then Old Ken has some news to scoot your way: it's winter. That's right; it's that time of the year when the sun only bothers to show up for about a quarter of a day's work. Winds howl; lakes freeze; snow falls; dinosaurs hibernate. No, wait; that's bears who hibernate ... especially when they play large cats in divisional semi-final games.

While some people seem to like the cold, others don't. Old Ken just so happens to be in the latter company and, thus, sometimes needs a bit of a pick-me-up to get through the cold times and frigid winter months. Cue art, please.

That's right, some silly art has come to my attention of late. And while I'm not sure I have any terrible compelling or insightful stories to tell about said art, I hope the bright colors and general jocund whimsy may buoy spirits worldwide.



Our first specimen, represented in the two preceding images, is a kind of installation piece I recently saw in a gallery space in the creepy, dank crypt of the St. Pancras parish church on Euston Road. This piece was part of a show called "Wasting Time" that featured the art made by people who work as docents and gallery assistants at the Serpentine—a major art space in London. An amusing idea, this exhibition was billed in its promotional literature as aiming "to showcase the work of a next generation of artists whose intense exposure to other peoples' art and the public who view it can only reflect positively on their own practice." While this latter assertion seems like it flies in the face of much artistic pedagogy from the Renaissance onward, we'll skip such pedantics and just move on to the art itself.

Now, as posting of video clips is presently beyond the means of yours truly, I need to ask you to use your imagination a bit here. That is, the installation above was accompanied by the insistent thump of dance music. So, please allow the dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-chicka-dum to resonate in your head as you begin to visualize the animation of the fuschia mannikin who stands dunce-like in the corner here. For, our little pink friend would gently move his tiny arms up and down, roughly in time with the music. The lime green jellyfish of a head that hangs from the ceiling above, however, was not mechanized (thank goodness!). I'm not sure what it all means, but I did think the pattern of light relfecting off the disco ball in the first photograph was quite lovely.



If this is art made by someone who works at a gallery, our second specimen would seem like the kind of art made by someone who works at an art history library. While I don't actually know if this is the case, the art itself was recently cited in installation outside of the library of the Courtauld Institute. The text is Ernst Gombrich's The Story of Art (a survey of art that is as ubiquitous in British art history as Jansons' suvery is in the US) as it spreads its new-found wings. As you'll be able to judge from the reflection, the book/sculpture is displayed beneath a plastic dome—a most unfortunate addition in Old Ken's mind, as I would have loved to run my fingers through its feathery, cut-paper plumage. As we say in Spanish, "que lastima!" But, I do these close encounters may offer some winter warmth. I just checked the cockles of my heart and they are spicy!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

A Limehouse Ramble



Back in the days of Dickens, the area of east London—the fabled "East End"—was quite a place. Home to wave upon wave of immigrant communities and goods from all over the world that would make their landfall on the docks of the Thames, the East End acquired a rough and tumble reputation. It was the place of gangsters, hoodlums, cheap goods, and the beloved Cockney slang.

Well, so much at least Old Ken has picked up from reading the kind of ghoulish pot-boilers churned out by retro-Gothic novelists like Peter Ackroyd. But what of this low-lying sailor's haunt now? Is it still the place to go if you want a bit of the old swabbin' of the poop deck? Or, has London's recent receipt of the 2012 Olympics brought a face-lift or, to stick with our analogy, a proverbial anal bleaching to this blighted area?



Determined to find some answers for myself, I set out with my "peepers" peeled. While the completely unretouched photograph of a street sign as seen above may suggest something of my findings, traces of the old were absolutely still perceptible. Although the dismal series of housing projects and council estates that now clog the area are grim in a post-industrial sort of way, places like Bow Cemetery was truly creepy. Swamped as they now are with weeds and brambles, the tightly-packed Victorian graves appear to sink away into the boggy ground itself.



The massive St. Anne in Limehouse (seen in the two previous images above) stands as an eerie relic to these earlier times. No doubt once home to a substantial congregation who would have entered through the neo-Baroque facade and impressive leaded half dome as seen above, the church now feels extremely lonely in the huge urban yard it occupies. Although none of the much-touted "rats the size of cats" were on view this particular January evening, an impoverished and unsettling feeling certainly does remain palpable in the greater Limehouse-Bow area.



Yet, of course, Limehouse is just a hop-skip-and-a-jump from "little America"—the Thatcherite capitalist orgy that is Canary Wharf. Built up upon decayed docklands over the course of the past two decades, Canary Wharf is now home to London's tallest buildings, lots of international financial interests, and the gamut of American-style consumer opportunities. Chili's, sports bars, and food courts are all in the offing here—less than a geographical mile, but a world away, from the slums of the East End.



Thus, you can imagine my shock at the irony of seeing a bust of Lenin on display in a sandwich shop in one of the many Canary Wharf malls. No doubt his stewards in Moscow will have to do some re-adjustment of the great man's dusty corpse, as it must be turning and wriggling in horror at his head's display above the sandwich counters wherein bankers and capitalist financiers choose between tuna and sweet corn or mayonaise and crayfish sandwiches.



To make matters even more interesting, I had noted as a small sign on the door as I walked into the mall itself. Although it is a bit difficult to read on account of the camera's flash, the sign contains an slashed out iconism of a man in a hard hat and a printed legend reading "No site clothing." Translation: no (visibly) working-class people allowed. I should add that as Old Ken was taking these pictures, I was accosted by a security guard who informed me, in no uncertain terms, that it was not permitted to take pictures in the mall. While I will spare you the full substance of our subsequent discussion—our conversation on the basis and legitimacy of this rule, its relation to rights to free speech, etc.—I should let you know that this guard (Mike by name) did inform me of the reasoning behind the "no site clothing" policy. That is, in his words, "we have a lot of office people in here, and if we had them mixing with the workers ... well, it just wouldn't be nice." Changed priorities? Well, maybe not so much.