At the Tower

The Tower of London: former home of Thomas More, Sir Walter Raleigh, Guido Fawkes (who, as we have learned, was not actually a fox), and many other persons of sufficient importance that they were incarcerated here rather than in one of London's other prisons. But, the Tower—in actuality a complex of builings that has grown up around the massive "White Tower" constructed by William the Conqueror—was also home to the English mint, a govermental record office, and now holds the crown jewels. So, naturally, Old Ken had to make a visit.



One of the most striking features of the area around the Tower is the abundance of refreshingly expansive public spaces. While the Tower compound is flanked by verdant lawns and sloping hills, the piazza-like space beyond its walls provides great views of London proper, as is suggested by the cone of the "gherkin" building visible in the photograph above.



Now, I should warn you that it isn't cheap to visit the Tower; with a student discount, it still cost Old Ken over $20. But, as lovely and crisp a day as it was, I was determined to make the most of it. So, I threw my lot in with a tour group led by the "yeoman guide" (whose head and distinctive black and scarlet garb are just visible as he faces forward just to the left of the first window in the figure above). Apparently, this gent had been living and giving tours at the Tower for over twenty years; he certainly showed no sign of tiring of his job on this day. He gave a real virtuoso performance, reeling off yarns like a master spinner—pitching his voice to emulate More, Henry VIII, and others. In any case, we are looking here at the "Traitor's Gate" built by Henry III—the gate so called as treasonous political prisoners would be brought into the Tower through here by boat. Our guide then offered a charming an account of the medieval culture of violent spectacular punishment which would have made M. Foucault proud.



Here, as the image suggests, we have walked up hill a bit from the river and are looking south toward Tower Bridge at left. Because real estate in London is at such a premium, it is a real treat to see the kinds of ruins evident in the photo at left. And if you strain your eyes, you may be able to some small cages, just tucked in behind the decaying wall.



These cages are home to the fiendish raven minions of my nemesis—Optal-Max Shreek. As you will recall, of course, he is the evil overlord of the Ravensborne River, bent on oppression of the peaceful Quaggy peoples. Old Ken certainly needed no cautioning about the dangers of ravens, but retaliation against raven-violence is (predictably) forbidden. For, as the story goes, should the six ravens kept at the Tower be killed, the Tower would collapse and England itself would fall.



Chillingly, Optal-Max Shreek (who we see at left above) seemed to positively gloat at this privilege. We see him here strutting about with impunity, whispering a diabolical command into the sordid ear of his associate. Free to roam around, "protect" the Tower, and bite with impunity ... I think we need no further proof than Optal-Max Shreek of the dictum that absolute power corrupts absolutely. And if you wish to support the Quaggy Liberation Front, please contact me directly.