Saturday, May 03, 2008

"How do you Cook Crow?"

For some reason, I woke up this morning with the question once asked by a classmate in my freshman-year Earth Science course burning in my addled brain. At the end of the lesson in this sleepy high school class, the teacher had casually asked if there were any questions. And this guy next to me queried in what I could only understand to be real seriousness: "How do you cook crow?"

Well, with the wonders of the internet at my disposal, I thought I would put the same question into a search engine and see what I got. Here is the result:

"This was printed in one of my husband's Bird Club newsletters. Apparently, it is a true story.

"The inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: 'Wash. Biol. Surv.' until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.

"The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service."


More fun from along the same lines is "How to cook a coot," which follows the familiar "how to cook skunk" recipe pretty closely:

"Take one coot. Pluck and clean the bird. Put a brick in the cavity. Season well with salt, pepper, and garlic. Place in a large casserole dish. Add 3 cups water to dish. Bake, covered, 12 hours. Add 1 bottle white wine. Return to oven for a further 12 hours. Add 4 chopped onions and one more bottle of white wine. Bake another 12 hours. Continue adding 1 bottle of white wine every 12 hours until the brick is soft. Then discard the coot and eat the brick."

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