Dream Song; or, a Svetlana Alpers Tribute

I awoke one morning last week with this song in my head. Well, I had the tune and the first verse in my head. It took a little while to figure out the rest, but as I did so, it became clear who was trying to contact Old Ken through psychic networks: Svetlana Alpers. (For all who might not know, Ms. Alpers is a pioneering art historian whose books include the groundbreaking and controversial The Art of Describing of 1983).

In any case, here is the song so why not pick up a guitar, lute or ukelele and sing along with the tune that has this part of southeast London a-hummin'?

A little note on my transcription: for some reason, the software didn't like me writing out the chords over the lyrics according to conventional usage. Thus, what follows is a little typographically (and, of course, musically!) unattractive. Unless otherwise specified, all the chords repeat through the verse section. The rhythm is something like that of Belle and Sebastian's "The Boy with the Arab Strap" and the song sounds a bit like "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne (if that helps).

Svetlana Alpers

C
She's a knockout,
F
she's a perfect ten
C
She's a bombshell,
F
talks like Aphra Behn
G/G7
To me

Educated
in the USSR
Matriculated
at Harvard Yard
For free


Dm
Takin' on
Am
all the connoisseurs
F
and the
G
museum guys
Dm
Talkin' about
Am
photography
F
And the
G
period eye

Married to some
guy named Paul
Has an affair with
Michael Baxandall
Whooee!

Fired
from Berkeley CA
Hired
by the IFA
N-Y-C

Dm (etc.)

And some sad day, in times to come
When Svetlana Alpers dies
In the newspapers you'll read
Written in the headlines ... [back to the start]