Momus' Door

In one of his dialogues, the Greek satirist Lucian narrates an exchange between Lycinus (who occupies the Socratic position) and a confident patsy, Hermotimus. The topic of their conversation is how to choose a school of philosophy.

A number of options are consulted: should you be democratic about it and just espouse the most popular views? Perhaps the style and the personal charisma of the philosophical teachers themselves should be taken as proof of philosophical excellence?

As Lycinus systematically exposes the untenability of these various views, he recounts a fable to Hermotimus. It is as follows:

"There was once a trial of skill ... between Minerva, Neptune, and Vulcan, which should produce the most complete work. Neptune made a bull, Minerva a horse, and Vulcan a man. When they came to Momus, whom they had chosen umpire, after a careful examination of every performance, he found greatest fault with Vulcan ... , for not making a door in his man’s breast, to open and let us know what he willed, and thought, and whether he spoke the truth of not."

Momus's folly, Lyncinus explains, lies in a kind of category error: he tries to submit to visual analysis what can only really be judged by other criteria. Willed intentions have no visibility in or on the organs of the body, but need to be assessed by reason. "Momus," so Lyncinus says teasingly to Hermotinus, "was so dull he could not see into these things; but you, with more than the lynx’s sharpness, can see into the breast of every man, and not only can tell what he wills, and what he thinks, but whether he is better or worse than any body else."



What Momus really wanted was a lie detector!

(I can't give a good reason for why I'm sharing this. Time to go outside.)